Tuesday, November 3, 2009

November 1, 2009, There are 2,008 bottles in the BBHOF

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The BBHOF Newsletter: 90% of the Truth 90% of the Time!

Hi! How you doing? Big news this month! How about those crazy Norwegians. They sure surprised everyone with their pick of Obama. He’s still my guy but I don’t get it. Then again they are sponsored by that dynamite guy and also gave one to Al Gore and Jimma Carter. Not to mention Henry the K. All this and they ignored Gandhi. But hey, what the hell do I know? I just plant flowers and collect beer bottles.

Uncle Mike Cunningham visited the Hall this with his lovely wife Judy and they brought along the following. From Carolina Brewing a Carolina Blonde. From AB a Michelob Honey Lager. From Widmer Bros. in Portland OR. a Drifter Pale Ale. From Sam Adams a Irish Red. And from Kona Brewing in Kona Hawaii a Longboard Lager.

Phil Howell donated 5 new Beers to the Hall. They are, from Thirsty Dog Brewing in Akron, Ohio a Labrador Lager. From Blue Hills Brewery in Canton, MA. an IPA. From Newport Storm in Newport, RI. a Luke India Style Red Ale. From Haverhill Brewery in Haverhill, MA. a Homerun American Ale. From Peak Organic Brewing in Portland, ME an IPA. Phil and Judy came for a Friday night Fire and they shared the following large bottles of beer. From Lagunitas in Petaluma, CA. a Little Sumpin’ Extra Ale. From Stone Brewing in San Diego, CA a Sublimely Self Righteous Ale. From Clipper City Brewing in Baltimore, MD a Heavy Seas The Big DIPA Double IPA. From Dogfish Head Brewing in Milton, DE a Squall IPA. From Blue Point Brewing in Patchogue, NY a Rastafa Rye Ale.

After extensive research it has been determined that we do not have any beers from Mississippi, Nebraska, South Dakota and West By God Virginia.

New Beers from Saranac Brewing in Utica, NY a Belgian Ale, a Black lager, a Winter Larger, a Rye IPA, a Maple Porter and a Big Moose Ale. For those of you keeping score at home that’s 29 Saranac’s. Second only to Sam Adams 36.

Other New Beers in October. From Abita Brewing in Abita, LA. a Pecan Harvest. From Uinta Brewing in Salt Lake City, UT. a Blue Sky Pilsner and a Golden Spike Hefenveizen. From Clipper City Brewing in Baltimore, MD. A Hang Ten Unfiltered Wheat Beer and a Marzhon Oktoberfest Lager. From Gritty Mcduff’s Brewing in Portland, ME. a 21 IPA. From Mayflower Brewing in Plymouth Ma. a Golden Ale. And from Red Hook Brewing in Portsmith, NH. a Slim Chance Light.

Beer of the month selections from the Arlington Dailey’s. From Tremont Brewing in Boston, Ma. a Mr.Oktoberfest Seasonal Ale and a Freedom Trail IPA. From Otter Creek Brewing in Middlebury, VT. a Stovepipe Porter and a Pale Ale.

News Report: The highly acclaimed Beer Bottle Hall Of Fame soared to another milestone by smashing through the 2000 mark this month. As usual details of this landmark were hard to come by. In a statement read to financial annalists by BBHOF spokesperson Phil Howell the Hall announced that the 2000 bottle mark had been breached in October and that The Founder and CEO J Michael Dailey did partake in the induction ceremony at the BBHOF’s hidden location in the sprawling countryside in Lincoln RI. The brand of beer and the other participants of this sacred ritual remains a closely guarded secret. Industry insiders have been speculating as to the circumstances surrounding the event.

It was noted that Mr. Michael Cunningham trekked north from his Carolina seaside resort to visit with Mr. Dailey on October 27. When asked to comment on the nature of his visit, Mr. Cunningham would only confirm that he did visit the reclusive Mr. Dailey, a childhood friend, and they did drink beer but refused to comment on the brands and numbers consumed. When hounded by one persistent reporter Mr. Cunningham struck him on the head with his umbrella ending the conversation. When approached after the press conference Spokesperson Howell was asked to comment on the fact that he was observed making deliveries to the Hall twice during the month. A smiling Mr. Howell stated that he had been to the hall twice during the month and had drank beers with the eccentric Founder but would not comment on the brands or amounts consumed.

A stringer for the Valley Breeze spotted Mr. Dailey on a rare sojourn attending a costume party at the home of BBHOF Head Curator Don Earnshaw on Halloween Oct. 31. When approached leaving church this morning Mr. Earnshaw stated that Mr. Dailey was at his home along with Senior Associate Curator Lee Emery. He said they did consume beers but would not reveal the brands or amounts. When pressed for details Mr. Earnshaw hit the reporter over the head with a hymnal. Reporters caught up with Founding Father Emery at the exclusive Lincoln Country Club. An irate Mr. Emery was quoted “Do you know how many shity beers I’ve had to drink with that nut on Saturday nights? He then attacked the reporter with a seven iron.

Stock in the BBHOF continue to buck market trends and has risen for 39 straight quarters since its inception in January 2000. The austere Mr. Dailey only doles out blocks of the stock to trusted friends but has been known to give away millions to some rather obscure charities having ties to a Mr. Kilgore Trout and the Church of the Utterly Indifferent.

In a rare peak at the inside workings of the BBHOF a former board member under condition of anonymity groused that the whole operation is a liberal cult. “Dailey controls everything, it’s a scam, he gets free beer and his cronies get together and swill it down. Then they sit around and attack Republicans” When informed of these comments Spokesperson Howell dismissed them as ranting of a disgruntled member who was discharged after being exposed as a industrial espionage agent working for that big Belgian company being run by Brazilians. With reports from The New York Times, The Wall Street Times, US Business Weekly. The Carolina Picayune and The Valley Breeze.

I must go now rake leaves and commune with nature.

Enjoy Three Dog Night

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