Thursday, December 31, 2009

Decmber 31, 2009, There are 2,035 bottles in the BBHOF

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The BBHOF Newsletter: 90% of the Truth 90% of the Time!

Greetings and Salutations! This month’s news letter comes to you through the miracle of modern technology from Ocean Island Beach North Carolina where we are celebrating New Years Eve with the Cunningham’s on our way to Florida. We left RI on the 24th visited and spoiled the new grandchild for 6 days then lit out south yesterday. We leave tomorrow and think we can drive thru to Venice in one day. Gas prices so far. RI $2.59 NJ Turnpike $2.50 Arlington, VA , $2.67 Wilson NC $2.59.

How about that crazy Bishop? Still clinging to the 1950’s delusion that anybody cares anything about what he has to say. He attacks Patrick Kennedy about his congressional stance and expects the rest of us to give a big woof. Only the projo thought it newsworthy. What a pair. One has no parishioners left and the other has no subscribers left. Not that Pat is the brightest bulb on the Kennedy tree.

8 new beers from Joe, Anne, and Katie. From Michigan Brewing in Webberville, MI a Celis Grand Cru and a IPA. From Snake River Brewing in Jackson Hole, WY a Pale Ale and a Zonker Stout. From Yards Brewing in Philadelphia a Brawler Ale and a Philadelphia Pale Ale. From Sprecher Brewing in Glendale, WI a Winter Brew and a Dunkle Weizen. Also in our Christmas stocking was a Lump Of Coal Dark Holiday Stout from Ridgeway Brewing in Oxfordshire, England. And from Abita Brewing in Abita Springs, LA. a Satsuma Harvest Wit.

The Baltimore Orioles have e-mailed and called us inquiring about our availability. We have a tentative appointment for next week with Tracee Krump who would be our boss if we are deemed rehabilitated enough to represent the O’s in public. I mean Tracee, You got of garl damn nerve wanting to know if I have rehabilitated myself after having let unauthorized people into the owner’s box! Stay tuned!

Associate Head Curator Lee Emery hit pay dirt for the Hall with a Sam Adams Imperial White and a Dog Fish Head Raison D’ Etre.

The BBHOF gardens were put to sleep for the winter with 20 truck loads of woodchips to tuck them. I spread the last load Sat Dec.19 about 5 hr. before the 20 inch snowfall.

Andrew and Lucia returned from Lenox, MA. with four Bombers from the Berkshires. Two Berkshire Mountain Brewers in Great Barrington, MA a solar brewed R Hop Ale made from local hops. Two Berkshire Brewing Steel Rail Extra Pale Ale.

The Washington DC area received their 20 inches one day before ours. When we arrived on the 24th most of it was still in the streets. The plows make one sweep down the middle of the street and you are on your own. On Christmas day night they had 2 inches of rain and heavy fog that cleared the streets after 7 days of mess.

Phil Howell gave some Christmas cheer in the form of a IPA from McNeill’s Brewing in Brattleboro, VT. From Mendocino Brewing in Saratoga Springs, NY a Winter Seasonal IPA. From Victory Brewing in Downingtown PA. A Yakima Twilight Ale. And a Schlitz from Milwaukee, WI.

It was a steamy July midnight at the crossroads in Tishomingo, Mississippi when a tall lean figure approached out of the heavy mist that clung to the kudzu like sweat on the back of a grave digger’s neck. The apparition began a low moaning chant that was a mixture of Cajun and a Celtic dialect long lost to modern lexicographers. He bent down and drew strange figures in the hard packed red clay. He then pulled a dusty leather pouch from inside a great coat that seemed strangely out of place in the clammy humid darkness. Without a bead of sweat showing he re-buttoned the great coat and appeared to shiver as he sprinkled an iridescent powder on the crudely drawn petrography. Circling and swaying, he gradually increase the pitch and cadence till he was a whirling banshee. A great bolt of lightning shattered the night and a bust of brimstone erupted out of the rural soil. The figure was slammed onto his back emitting a blood curdled scream. When the smoke and fire dissipated a huge Gollum like figure appeared to form out of embers and ashes. It stood 10 feet tall, had huge coiled horns on the side of its huge scaled head. Wings spreading out of his shoulders fanned the smog away. Its eyes were coals drawn out of the hottest blast furnace in a steel mill. Its huge hooked nose seemed constructed from swamp moss that dripped down to a Dick Cheney like chin. “Donny? Don Earnshaw? Is that you? Pick yourself up boy and let me get a look at your sorry ass!” Our hero dusted himself off and with a surprisingly casual voice answered “Hey Devil what’s the haps. Do we really need all this smoke and mirrors to meet? Can’t we just meet at your condo?” Beelzebub smiled sheepishly and replied, “ It’s my agent, all part of the Prince of Darkness and Fallen Angel mystique. He says we have to keep the legend going. Supposedly it helps in the book royalties. So what brings you back to see me this time, you must need a big one to come all the way down here to the cross roads.” “Well your lowness I kind of need a favor. The one you did for me last time worked pretty well.” “Well lad, lay it out for me and I’ll see what I conjure up for you.” Well it’s about my Yankees hoof boy, they have lost 7 in a row to the Red Sox, Dailey & Emery are going to be hell to live with, er poor choice of words there. But you know what I mean. Is there any way you can black magic me up something that would lead to a World Championship for the Bombers. I mean its been ten long years since we worked together. I mean I don’ need a Bucky Dent or anything like that.” The Devil let out a mighty roar that shook the night shade to its roots. It’s always a pleasure dealing with you Don you cut right to the chase.” With that His Blackness reached thru his scaled skin and extracted a lap top that he fired up and began scrolling with his 9 inch nails deftly working the key board. “Hum, it seems that you have a short memory teacher man. You were here just two years ago. I had to make that lazy assed guy catch that pass off his helmet to give your Giants that Super Bowl win. I took a lot of heat from that from the Big Guy, seems he had his heart set on a perfect season. You know how he gets when he is on the perfection jag. Many more eons attached to my sentence and two more elections as advisor to the RNC. I’m gonna kill that whiney bastard Rove and don’t get me started about that Alaskan dimwit.” “Ah, sorry to interrupt fire breath can we get on with this, you know I get hives if I stay more than an hour in Mississippi” “Hives, that and the shingles were two of my best. Ok let’s see what you have left in your account?” A dark frown rippled his pocked brow as he consulted his hissing laptop. “Donny you sold me the last part of your soul on that Giants game. The records show that you gave me your father’s soul for the Dent thing. I blush to see what you gave me for Obama. How’s Mom doing anyway, give her my best.” “Mom’s doing fine thank you, I think I can come up with 3 souls that I can swing to your side.” “OK now we’re dealing, give me their info and we will check the data base to get their fair market value.” First is Joe Dailey”. The laptop started to spit and smoke as soon as the Demon entered the name, “Sorry Mr. E but our records indicate that we collected Mr. Dailey’s soul in 1962, something about a one eyed priest and a nun on crutches!” “I was afraid on that one, how about Lee Emery, he should have a lot more miles left on his soul than Dailey.” The Imps claws danced across the keyboard and the sly smile returned showing dark pointed molars. “Come on flower man, Emery came from Maplesville we collected every soul in Maplesville for that thing that happened in 1986 with the convent and the grange. You’re down to your last chance then you know how we seal the deal.” The last one I got is Roland Cherela he leads a pretty good life you probably never heard of him.” The Beast did a backward somersault and hi fived himself. “October 2004 game 4 Sox V Yankees. He groveled like a Calcutta beggar. Wined like a liberal in congress. Beat himself like a rented mule. It was embarrassing, finely gave in to him after he promised to get married again. The bastard reneged on that but we let him slide. We deal in souls, misery is just a sideline.” Don shuffled his feet in the delta dust and with downcast eyes mumbled “what’s it gonna cost me to get you to deliver the Yanks a title”. The Great Satan inflated himself up to a huge visage and bellowed “For the New York Yankees to win the 2009 World Series I demand two very special things for you. First your New York Giants shall not make the play offs for the next 10 years.” Don frowns and mulls it over. “I can live with that.” And secondly your Providence Collage Friars shall not have a winning season for the next 10 years or until they leave the Big East.” “Not my Friars wailed Don.” Deal or no Deal? Roared the Devil” “Deal moaned Don. The ground opened up and the stench of the afterlife left our hero prone on the crossings in Tishomingo, Mississippi. July 2009. And that boys and girls is how the Yankees won. Next Month Tommy Bellayuto takes his horses to Tishomingo.!

From Total Liquor in Arlington, VA.14 new entries. From Star Hill Brewery in Crozet, VA a Dark Star Stout, a Northern Lights IPA, and The Gift Winter Bock Beer. From Lienenkugel’s in Chippewa Falls, WI. A Fireside Nut Brown Ale. From Bell’s Brewery in Comstock, MI. a Larger of the Lakes and a Third Coast Old Ale. From Kona Brewing Company in Kona, HI. A Pipeline Porter and a Fire Rock IPA. From Legend Brewing in Richmond, Va. A Pale Ale and a Brown Ale. From RJ Rocker Brewing in Spartanburg, SC. A First Snow Ale. From Tommy Knocker Brewery In Idaho Springs, CO a Imperial Nut Brown Ale. From Terrapin Beer Co. in Athens, GA. A India Style Brown Ale and a Hopsecutioner IPA. From Williamsburg Ale Werks in Williamsburg, VA. A Washington Porter. And last but not least our first beer from West By God Virginia, from Mountaineer Brewing in Martinsburg WV. a Lager.

I must go now, Mike is cooking the steaks, we are on our third football game and we have 16 new beers to induct into the Hall.

Life is good! Enjoy INXS.

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